09 November 2007

Corporate America, Hear My Cry

I had an epiphany today. After trying to figure out how we are once again going to deal with fixing the car and paying the bills and keeping our heads above water, I realized what we need to do.

We have to sell out.

That's right, I want to be a sell out, and I'll do whatever it takes to become one, because I am so sick and tired of living on the edge, or trying to be better with our money, to plan and analyze every purchase (or pay dearly for it when I don't). I am tired of finally feeling like we're about to be "okay," and finding out that our stupid car is back in the shop. I'm tired of deciding which bills to pay.

So, this is your chance, Corporate America, I'm ready to sell out. Show me what you got - I'll take it! You need a shill? I am excellent at shilling. A fresh soul? I'm your girl, my soul is just about as fresh as they come, and if that's not good enough for you, I know where I can get two more. Or perhaps you're all set for souls right now but could use a good lackey, or maybe a minion - there is no job I won't consider.

Of course, as an official sell-out, I will have to reserve my right to slack off and make a fool of myself, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

12 comments:

Bananas said...

Wow, we are totally on the same wavelength. I've had an overpowering case of the "I wants" and everything on the list is E$pensive... trip to Portugal, $200 coat, expensive makeup. Aargh! I want money, dammit! WHY wasn't I born with a trust fund??

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Ugh...it's tough! We struggled for several years having to pinch every penny.

beta mom said...

Hey - all this brilliance doesn't come cheap!

Ewokmama said...

Move to SF. It's super easy to sell out here. ;)

Steve said...

Im willing to get tattoos of corporate logos on various body parts that I will then display for gobs of cash

Carrie said...

Getting ready for holiday shopping, are we?!

Cathy said...

I know what you mean. We just shelled out hundreds to fix the furnace, which rebelled during the first cold spell.

Am still quivering. Not from the cold, but the freaking bill.

Veronica said...

Oh yes I know how you feel. Only I don't have a corporate America to sell out to. I still have the bills to juggle.

Lizzi said...

Right there with you babe. Every time I open the mail there's another catalog to make me pea-green.

Blue Momma said...

I never thought at my age I'd be poor again. But then again I never thought I'd give up my income to be a stay at home mom.

Pinching pennies really sucks. I also am ready to sell out, but I have to be able to do it from home!!!!

Suburban Oblivion said...

I hear ya, the budget SUCKS these days!!

andi said...

If you get any takers, let me know. I was just saying the other day that now that I've shed all my youthful ideals, that I'm considering working in advertising (you know, for the money). Somewhere in an alternate universe, my anti-corporate teenage self is shuddering.