introducing... Did You Know?

with Freya Root.


(occasionally edited for clarity by me)










Do you know what is inside the moon?













Worms.

That's right! Worms.










Yup, both kinds of worms live in the moon - good guy worms and bad guy worms.

The good guy worms eat the bad guys, but not their guts.

They don't like the guts so they make them into a big pile, and then after they eat the bodies they eat the guts for dessert. But some of them don't have any dessert.

The good guy worms are pink and blue, like this:














The bad guys worms are black and white, like this:














Sometimes the bad guys worms eat the good guy worms because they taste good, but they also make a pile of guts for later.

The moon gets eaten, but then the good guy worms save the moon so we can still see it and they save all the people's lives. The End.

Maybe NEXT Next Year

Apparently Freya's not ready to give up being evil just yet.

I'm sitting at Steve's computer this morning. Freya enters the room and walks slowly over to me.

"Mother," she says in a voice that is cautiously optimistic, "I thought you had drowned."

Ah, my evil darling.

The Week in Three Acts

My poor computer has abandoned me at last, forcing my re-entry into the blogging world to become sporadic. I don't know when I will have my baby back, but until then I apologize in advance for my lengthy absences and sudden reappearances.

With the chaos of the season behind me now (mostly) I am ready to slip into the new year unnoticed. I will be like a shadow, gathering my thoughts and moving forward with accuracy and confidence. This is my wish for the new year, a year in which I have no idea what will happen to myself, to my family, and to our future.

I have applied to the graduate programs at Cornell University and the University of Missouri-Columbia. In a week or two I will have applied also to the University of Nebraska, Ohio University, and the State University of NY at Binghamton.

Each of the graduate schools has a program that combines the study of literature with the craft of writing and I can honestly say that I do not have a favorite. Of course I would love to get into Cornell, because, well, who wouldn't? But all of the programs that I have applied to would be perfect for me, and there is not one that I think would be more perfect.

While this is great in one way, it also leaves so many possible futures open, that I have no idea where Steve and the girls and I will be in a year, or even in six months.

In the days leading up to Christmas I thought a lot about why we celebrate that day. For someone who doesn't even believe in God, I really get into that Christmas spirit. I thought a lot about trying to make the holiday into something else, something that doesn't involve the birth of Christ (it's not like it's his real birthday anyway!), something that is a celebration of family, of love, of togetherness. But I couldn't seem to give up any of the traditions that I have come to love, the advent calendar, the stockings, the tree...

And then yesterday, as I watched my children opening the gifts that Santa had brought them, and later as they played together among candy wrappers and paper and trinkets, I realized that I don't want to give it up. This is what I love about Christmas, creating a day that brings joy to the people in my life.


From hanging out with Steve's mom on Saturday since she had to work on Christmas, to knitting mittens for my nephew, splurging on Matilda's Santa present because there was only one special thing that she wanted, and finding a cashmere sweater for $3.00 in my mother's size. It all makes me feel good. I know it gets stressful, and it can certainly get hectic. I didn't make everything I wanted to in time, and I wish that some things had been planned better, timing-wise, and that I had had more time with my friends.

But all in all I think that in spite of my atheist leanings, I really love Christmas, and even if I don't celebrate the birth of Christ (don't get me wrong, I think he was a great guy) I can celebrate the secular version of Christmas in a way that minimizes commercialism and still feels like a celebration of love.

First, a qualifying statement: I do not believe in New Year's Resolutions.

I do however, believe in making changes when changes are necessary, and since scrambling to complete applications, attempting to write a novel in November, and knitting, sewing and watching Christmas movies through December, it is time for a change.

Starting now (not next week) I will watch less TV, read more books, write every day, and submit my work for publication.

Calamity and Calculations

It is suitably ironic and a sign that I must have stayed away too long when the day after I return to blogging my poor darling laptop seems to suffered some sort of stroke.

Here's what the screen looked like this morning:

And now it looks like this:


And is showing no signs of remorse or even chagrin. I have done nothing but be loving and kind to my darling laptop, and this is how it repays me?

Lucky for me I live with a certified technophile and there are enough computers lying around the place that I will somehow muddle through until the arrival of my friend (and hero) on Thursday who will work his magic and make my baby better.

In the meantime I have a house to clean and Christmas gifts to make. The playroom is a total disaster since I simply do not have time to stand at the top of the stirs wearing Mommy's Look of Death for several hours as my children clean. Apparently this is what it takes because the moment I leave the room the whispering begins and when I return the toys that had been picked up while I was there have been artfully strewn about.

I know it would be faster, easier, and in general just much, much better if I did the whole damn thing myself. But sooner or later the children will figure out that if they stall for long enough, mommy will do their cleaning for them and I just can't bring myself to set that precedent.

Having promised you focus and introspection I find that now the best I can offer is my own focus: preparing for my very dear friends to arrive here in less than two days. In lieu of a traditional to-do list (you know how I love them) I offer you mathematics. Please let me know if your calculations yield any promising results.

square feet of living space: 932
square feet covered with toys: 56%
friends: 8
gifts still waiting to be made: 8
guest rooms: 0
air mattresses: 4
nights friends will be sleeping here: 2
nights without children of any kind: 1
yummy local wine bar: 1

As a Pheonix From the Ashes...

After a longer than anticipated blogging break, I am back, with a shiny (okay, kind of creepy) new header. Thanks, Fionn!

The beginning of December blended right into November somehow and now here we are at the 17th, which feels more like the 24th in terms of how much time I have to finish Christmas things.

It feels good to be back though and I'm so glad that I will once again have a place to write all of those posts I think of in the car and the shower.

Updates:

NaNoWriMo: Thank God (or whoever) that it's over! The push to write was good for me, but I burnt out faster than I expected. Out of 86 pages of forced, clichéd writing I think I have manged to salvage a really strong character and the first page of a very promising short story. I may not have written 50,000 words in 30 days, but finding the beginning of a new short story is so much better.

Craftiness: I have been awash in arts and crafts projects, making things for Christmas presents, having sudden flashes of inspiration and abandoning one project for the next. So far I have finished three gifts for family members and made four completely unnecessary things for myself and my children, including a stuffed cat for Freya, which she named Biddy Winky.

The Children: So excited about Christmas. Matilda can spell things at random now, and Freya is three.

Grad School: Two out of five applications have been sent and the other three are due in January, but are pretty much ready to go. Then I will move on to the waiting, and waiting, and waiting and checking the mailbox seventeen times a day.

Okay, that's all for now. I missed you guys! Be back soon (as in tomorrow, not three weeks from now) with a real post that has focus and introspection and maybe even a point.