07 June 2007

Another Stellar Moment in My Parenting Career

The girls and I went down to my parent's house for dinner the other night. It's a half hour drive down a tree lined country road, through a couple of small towns and down into tourist laden south county.

It was five o'clock, and Freya hadn't taken a nap. This is an issue because we all know how cars put babies right to sleep, and while she has pretty much outgrown her nap in general, sticking the girl in a car at five o'clock in the evening is a surefire way to have a cranky kid at dinner and find yourself hanging out with a cheerful toddler at 10 pm.

Luckily, I had anticipated this problem and brought a small stash of m&ms. I know, I know, but wait, it gets better. Ten minutes into our trip the m&ms were gone and Freya was well on her way to passing out.

"Freya! No sleeping!" I was yelling from the front seat, and, "Matilda, keep your sister awake!"

Nothing was working.

"Do you want me to sing to you? What should I sing?"

Nothing.

"Should we listen to the numa numa song? What song do you want?"

Nothing.

"Come on, let's listen to some music."

I braved Steve's iPod to find something nice and loud to listen to keep the kid awake, my desperation growing with every turn in the road. I'm not so good with the iPod, but I found a designated car play list and hit the button.

First it was "I Wanna Be Like You."

Still nothing. I opened all the windows, her wispy blond hair was slapping her in the face and still she was falling asleep. So I turned the stereo volume all the way up. And I do mean All The Way Up.

Since apparently Freya didn't wanna be like me, or anyone else who was still awake, I hit the forward button a couple of times until suddenly a pounding bass filled the car and I thought I had found The One.

Matilda and I bounced up and down in our seats and sang and danced to "My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas with all of the windows down and the music blaring and still

Freya slept like a baby, all the way to grandma's house.

I'm not sure exactly what kind of message "My Humps" is supposed to be sending. Is this woman empowered by using her "lovely lady lumps" to get guys to buy her shit? Whatever. It was loud and it failed me when I needed it. That is all.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL. Funny funny. Or, not so funny when your kid stays up at night. I feel panic during the day when the naps do not go as planned because I can imagine the chaos that will ensue at night. In fact, we had another killer night at home - Jack went to sleep early but was up for two hours in the middle of the night. I think he was working on a giant poo. What a freaking joy!

Heather said...

BWahahaha!

I've had my own stellar moments just like that!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure I've had that exact "conversation" with my two year old as she's falling asleep in the car.

I always give up when she starts whining (with her eyes closed), "But Mama, I ti-i-ired..."