17 June 2007

Dear Hoochie-Mama Pushers,

Hi, we don't know each other very well, but I'm one of those mothers who doesn't buy all that crap you're trying to sell. While I can appreciate that the market demands a certain amount of trash in the form of slutty adorable little halter tops and cut off jeans that show more ass than Cinemax, enough is enough.

The string bikinis and glittery mini skirts are bad enough without you elbowing your way into the shoe market as well. See, the thing is this. High heels are not even good for grown up adult women to wear all the time. Yeah, okay, I wear high heels occasionally. But I have seen the diagrams, I know what they're doing to my back, and I can feel what they do to my feet after about fifteen minutes. But we're talking children here, come on, their little bodies and minds are all soft and malleable, you should be ashamed.

Not only do the clothes and toys that you push fuck with their sense of who they are as girls and who they will grow to be as women, but now you want them to develop scoliosis? Seriously.

Oddly enough in most cases it has not been the style of the shoes that has pissed me off, just the fact that they have a heel. Just hack the heels off the shoes and my beef with you will diminish considerably.

Maybe you don't understand. My daughter is five. She does not need high heels. The other girls her age don't care what she is wearing on her feet and the boys are too busy with whatever it is that they do to care either. She's not trying to impress anyone and she sure as hell doesn't need to pretend she's taller than she is, because, come on, she's five, being short is just the way things are. Why, I bet even you were short when you were five.

So while I realize that my opinion might not count for much with you people, since I'm not a customer of yours, I'd still really appreciate it if you'd do me a favor and back the fuck off. At least when it comes to the shoes. I'm not going to start buying my two year old string bikinis, but if you just do me this one teensy weensy little favor, I promise not to use my really loud oh-my-fucking-god-can-you-believe-they-are-trying-to-sell-us-this-shit voice the next time I am shopping in one of your aisles.

Thank you in advance for your thoughtful consideration of this matter.


Absolutely Bananas said...

ha ha ha! it's so true. I can't believe half the clothes I see that are designed for little girls. It's sick.

Jen said...

I was buying Elle a pair of sandals and nearly every pair in the store had heels on them. She's only 18 months old! I had to really search for a paor of toddler sandals that didn't have a heel on them. What's even worse is that I see little girls wearing this stuff all the time. I'll be honest, I really judge anyone who buys their baby or toddler hooker wear.

PTW said...

I'm thinking judgment is entirely appropriate in these cases.

Queen Heather said...

I'm glad I have boys!

Seriously, what is wrong with kellogg's and clothes mfgs?