11 July 2007

If Only All My Dreams Could Be Realized Just Like This

It is bedtime for children. Andrea and I are mixing up yet another batch of the most delicious drink ever made, and decide that we had better eat something real, something good, something green. So I chop up some kale and am stuffing it into the saute pan when Matilda wanders into the kitchen.
Matilda: Ooh, is that kale?

Me: Uh-huh.

Matilda: Can I have some?

Me: Sure.

Matilda: But I already brushed my teeth.

Me: Oh, well, actually kale is one of those things that you can eat any time, so it's okay.

Matilda: Oh, yummy, I love kale.
She skips away, singing a little song about the kale and how she loves it. Andrea and I exchange a look. I shake my head. I don't know.

Fast forward fifteen minutes, we are eating our kale, Matilda shoveling it into her mouth by the forkful. She stops when her bowl is half empty.
Matilda: I'm done. Can you wrap this up and put it in the fridge so I can eat it for breakfast?

Me: Uh, sure.

Matilda: Thank you.
Again with the skipping and the cheerfulness, she exits.

Fast forward one more time, now we are herding the children up the stairs to bed. Freya is trying to negotiate a later bedtime using her amazing two-year-old logic, but I am wise to her wily ways. Matilda stops, mid-step.
Matilda: I'm hungry. Can I have some more of my kale?

Me: No, it's time for bed, come on.

Matilda: But you said I can eat kale any time.

Me: Touche.
She skittles into the kitchen, takes her kale out of the fridge, unwraps it, eats one more bite, wraps it again and puts it away.
Matilda: Okay, I'm ready for bed.
When did my world turn upside down? If it wasn't for the all-out screaming, bouncing, crying, kicking temper tantrum that Freya threw only moments later I'd think I had entered some kind of strange parallel universe where happy little children skip around eating kale and there is a lovely creamsicle tap just outside my window. I mean, she's a good eater, but seriously, kale? and then she's ready for bed? What?


Andrea said...

The job of the second child is to make sure any 3 minute continuity of thought is again sent topsy turvy into WTF world.

Freya has done well this night.

andi said...

Kale? My kid would only eat it if it were dipped in chocolate. Send your girls over here to give her some schoolin' (oh, and bring along some of the best drink ever, please).

Absolutely Bananas said...

did that seriously happen? I think it's the most random thing I've ever heard of. I mean COME ON... KALE?!!! hilarious.

Brillig said...

Hahahahaha. No, I can honestly say that none of my children has ever tried kale. Nope. Sooooo funny!

Queen Heather said...

I'm all about a universe with random alcoholic drink taps.

Stepherz said...

Awesome story! I wish I could get my kids to eat something green. Can your kids come over and be a good influence on my kids?

moosh in indy. said...

Kale and scrambled eggs.