29 January 2008

Missing Instructional Manual: page 641

641.

in the middle of the night. As a new parent you are probably looking forward to your stolen solitary moment after the little ones have been tucked snuggly in their beds. Good for you.


This time of day is governed* by the following rules:

  • If you stay up too late, one or more of your children will wake up in the middle of the might. Which due to circumstances clearly within your control, is only twenty minutes after you have fallen asleep.

  • Always check to make sure the children are actually asleep before breaking out that box of chocolate truffles you've been saving. It calls to them like a siren.

  • Alway try to act as if you don't really care when they get to bed. Children can smell desperation and they thrive on it.

  • Trusting your own children to turn out their lights as they have pinky sworn, is not a reliable method. Double check.


* Not all rules apply.

10 comments:

Amy said...

This is so funny!! They do always wake up on the night you stay up too late -- how do they DO that??

Maureen said...

Ha! I must have missed that instruction manual too... so true, so true...

moosh in indy. said...

Unplug lamp when child is not looking.
A classic in our house.
That and turn the doorknob backwards and lock the little bugger in.

Amy said...

I gave you an award today!

Jerseygirl89 said...

They also wake up earlier if you stay up late. It's like magic. And then we're all cranky.

pootandcubby said...

Um, are you living in my house?

I have been bitten in the a$s more times than I care to admit by the staying up late one. I guess I'm a slow learner.

-andi

jennifer said...

Oh the staying up late thing...yes. Apparently I'm missing this page, too.

Cathy said...

It never fails -- stay too late and pay for it hours later. And it's true, they sense and capitalize on our desperation.

Lizzi said...

Wow! I have the exact same manual - amazing!

cheezewhizandmustard said...

Did you rip that page out of my manual? Cuz I have never seen that page before.