29 February 2008

Poor Little Loved Child

Standing in line at the supermarket checkout line yesterday I saw this:
NO TV or Happy Meals!

NO medicines, just herbs!

Scientology play dates & MORE!

What? She doesn't watch TV? They don't let her have Happy Meals? God forbid anyone try holistic methods instead of Western medicine! And can you imagine letting your child have play dates with people who practice the same religion as you do? Gasp!

This poor, poor little rich girl. I feel for her, I really do. What is it like inside her strange world? How does she live without the nutritional joy that is a Happy Meal? Without the magical picture box known as "TV"?

Sadly, I will never know.

But I do like reading about the shocking lives of other parents in supermarket checkout lines. I know now that since I let my kids eat Happy Meals and Tylenol in front of the TV every day, I'm doing a great job as a parent. Thanks, Star Magazine!


Annika said...

My god, it's practically The Village at the Cruise mansion.

andi said...

Classic! How awful it must be to be a celeb parent - I feel judged and examined enough and I certainly don't have the paparazzi following me around.

jennifer said...

HA! It's good to get praise wherever you can find it, even if it is Star Magazine.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...


This is why I love you. You'll make fun of our Super Sized American ego too.

Cathy said...

I love your sarcasm!

Jerseygirl89 said...

I WISH I had the nanny to help me avoid TV and I would love eat if my children didn't like Happy Meals. Clearly, I should be the next Mrs.Cruise. . .except, ewwww. Great post!

Stepherz said...

Hilarious! I read that too. But I am glad that she'll not know the addiction that is McDonald's. I swear they put something in those double cheeseburgers. Now that's something not even a nauseated pregnant woman can stick her nose up at. Yummm.