26 June 2008

So Much

I haven't been writing. Not only have I not been writing here, on my poor neglected blog, but I haven't been writing elsewhere either.

I attribute this lack of production to two things, one is simply that there's no time. Between the girls and the two jobs and the house and the bills and the groceries and the whatever the fuck else, there's just no time. And even if there were, it would be mentally cluttered time, which when it comes to writing things worth reading, is hard to work with.

The fact that in about eight weeks I will be writing fiction with a regular, weekly deadline, reading and writing about literature and immersing myself in academia is the thing I remember when I feel like I want to write but can't. It helps.

The other thing is a fullness. I might not be writing, but I am gathering. Everywhere I go I see people who inspire me, or disturb me, or delight me. All the while I am thinking, I am mentally cataloging and analyzing, my life, the lives around me, speculating on possible futures. I think this is a side-effect of the impending move - this feeling of simultaneous empowerment and uncertainty. I am on the brink of something. I am anticipating the leap, soaking up the view and immersing myself in the sensation of standing on the edge.


Amy said...

I feel like my blog has become a place for a short (or worse, long) cluttered brain dump. No time, yet I can't stand just letting it sit there. All the good stuff gets composed in my head and then floats away. Extremely frustrating.

Blog about your jobs! I forget that you work and kind of think of you as a SAHM.

Anonymous said...

But gathering, as you called it (love that), is so important! When you have the time again there will be so much to say...

andi said...

Keep gathering, my friend. There will be lots of time to write.

Stepherz said...

Love how you said it. At least you aren't on the brink of being stagnant. You're observing and soaking and learning and watching. Good writing starts with exactly what you're doing-- the hunting and gathering. Soak it up, write ideas down on paper. If you see something interesting, write it down and then let your imagination take it even further.

I do that when I'm just feeling blocked. I watch people. I imagine where they have been, where they are headed. What floats in their heads that they don't tell anyone about? And I especially love watching interactions-- the loving mother, the grouchy old man, the cynical mid lifer, the optimistic teen. Good writers soak up the life around them way before they start tapping away on the laptop.

I'm excited for you and the changes you are about to embark upon. You are a brilliant, creative lady who can write like it ain't no one's bidness. I look forward to reading!