13 July 2007

The Anointed Ones

And so, on this Friday the thirteenth of July, in the year of our Lord, two-thousand and seven, E. Acadia and Matilda Emmanuel presided over the mummification and ceremonial burial of two of natures greatest creatures. (Eamon and Freya assisted.)

Late into the night, the two grand priestesses gathered their materials: strips of white linen, holy oils of pink and orange, and the sacred sarcophagus, built for two and lined with royal blue velvet.

The dead were gently wrapped in linen shrouds,

before being anointed with the holy oils,

and laid to rest on a bed of velvet.

Freya's darling, as it turned out, wasn't quite dead yet.

The priestesses and their apprentices took a moment to bid a final farewell to the departed.

The sarcophagus was sealed and the scriptures cast upon it in many hues.

A lack of flashlight batteries necessitated a delay, and an early morning burial.

A grave was dug,

the casket placed gently within,

and the Great Mother Earth took once more unto her bosom those most holy of beings:
Two Plastic Barbie Dolls.

The priestesses then determined that they had neither the time, nor the materials required to build a pyramid, but were comforted to remember that the ancient tombs of the pharaohs had taken many years to complete. The Plastic Barbie Dolls of Death will have their monument, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and then until the end of time.


andi said...

I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or delighted that someone finally did away with my arch nemesis, Barbie.

Brillig said...

Okay... this is the most morbid thing I've seen all day... and I'm laughing my head off!

karrie said...

These kill me! :)

moosh in indy. said...

I'm so confused but oddly entertained.

Queen Heather said...


Can your kids convince my kids to bury the playstation because ohmygod.

nova said...

Brilliant! I love it!

Jenn said...

OH, fabulous! It's about time someone put those awful plastic boob jobs in the most appropriate place.

Just wait until they want to dig them back up.

Absolutely Bananas said...

no way. burying naked barbies wrapped in toilet paper shrouds. truly scary. LOVE it!

Ewokmama said...

I think you're having way too much fun.

Anonymous said...

It is pretty irresponsible of you to force your adult views of Barbies onto your young children. I found this entire "burial" highly disturbing on many levels. It seems to me that you and your fellow "blogging mommies" are a bit too bitter that you're mommies at all...

nell said...

Rather than delete that last comment, I thought I'd clarify a few points instead.

1. I have great fun being a "mommy" and while it may not be all sunshine and roses, I wouldn't trade it for the world. As for the bitterness, well, honestly, that's part of the fun of blogging, telling the crazy, maddening stories and feeling that I'm not the only mother out there who occasionally wants to throw a full scale temper tantrum when confronted with her children's antics.

2. The Mummification was not my idea. The eight-year-old read about it in a book on Ancient Egypt and requested it as a project. Of course, I was enthusiastic.

3. The fact that death is a hush-hush topic in many households does not mean that its mostly-benign presence in ours is wrong. I suggest you try to be a little more open minded and a little less judgmental when leaving comments on the blogs of people you have such issues with.

Velma said...

Love it! I'm just waiting to see what they come up with for a pyramid!